Things To Do When You You Really Are… Dead.

This is actually a rather brief but noteworthy list of things to do for those of you who might just be… well, DEAD!If you haven’t come to that realization yet, you’ll have to give it some time… and trust me, you’ll have lots of it.

First up would be to Smell. Then Decompose until it becomes boring… Decide that the casket really is a bad color, especially since you are wearing a red suit and a polka-dotted bow-tie. Take a dirt nap. Scare the living crap out of people who dare to walk above you. Learn to count… for really long durations of time. Wander the nether verse, seeking vengeance against the unrighteous or anyone within a five mile radio us.

Claw frantically at the inside of your coffin and then admire the interesting “fringe” pattern you managed to create. Make a note to yourself about looking up Martha Stewart. Secretly hope the zombie apocalypse occurs so you can stagger around looking for brains to eat. Wait patiently for that ride home… Then, finish it all up by clipping your fingernails… just to prove a point.

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~ by upbeatmag on June 21, 2009.

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