The NyQuil Zone

For the past several days I have been dealing with a very nasty cold. The congestion, sinus pressure, coughing and sore throat have been very difficult to deal with. Then again, according to my entire family and my dog— I have been very difficult to deal with. I blame it on all of the cold medication I have been taking, especially the NyQuil. While I was on a NyQuil induced mind-numbing, psychedelic experience, I began to wonder what else NyQuil might be used to create. Since I was essentially in some sort of cosmic lucid haze and had nothing better to do, I put on my really cool mad scientist outfit… or maybe it was just my old white bath robe with some Playtex rubber gloves and safety goggles and did some experimenting.

As a result of my experimentation, I have developed 5 unknown uses for NyQuil that I would like to share with all of you:

Nyquil works very well as a de-icer, for the very first time in a week there has been no ice or snow on my back porch. Much to my surprise and curiosity, NyQuil is actually rather flammable. It was a great help in getting that wet firewood turned into a raging inferno in no time. Of course, the volunteer fireman was not at all amused by my brilliant discovery. In fact he appeared to be not only stunned but irritated enough that I thought about sharing some Nyquil with him.

Since I was home and had nothing really better to do, I thought I would take some time and do the laundry. Would you believe NyQuil was a fantastic stain remover? That pesky paint stain on my red Snuggie is now history! While in my garage wandering aimlessly and trying to think of other things to do with NyQuil— I happened to see some sort of strange black bug crawling around. One I decided it was real… you guessed it— NyQuil is a very fast acting strange bug killer!

I also found out that if you mix the Red and Green NyQuil flavors together and drink the entire concoction— Neo from the Matrix movies will join you on your NyQuil-induced joyride into a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call The Twilight Zone. Rod Serling usually doesn’t appear until after you’ve downed an entire shot of Patrón Reposado with limes.

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~ by upbeatmag on March 31, 2011.

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